A Place for Everything

I agree with this advice when it comes to things like my keys and wallet. However I never puit anything back in my room unless it is something to do with receipts otherwise I have each and every book I am reading (always 3 at least ) somewhere in my room. My desk is always covered with things just because I am threw it there. In my room I always feel at home; and if I lose something I know it has to be in here somewhere . I know it would be really nice to be organized ; but with my mind I know my need to see it or read it will always be my motivation before actual organization. I love music so I would also like to say I have hundred of CDs ; and they are alll lined up in either a CD holder or a tablet with the tv so I can find what I want with ease. I think our minds are so unique the least important thing to us should be trying to fit into someone elses life of normal.  

Oh what a wonderful message-- a place for your dreams too.

I was thinking as I was reading all the countless times I was dragged to The Container Store and how tight my chest would feel after being amidst so many ways of organizing.  Literally, I feel like I was  suffocating and  haven't been inside a Container Store in years.

This was a little painful but highly important for me to read because I was in the place where I belonged (in a great job in a great church that I loved) and I quit 6 months before my diagnosis, (2 years ago) trying to finally, once and for all, have a clean, organized house and life, not knowing then that inattentive ADD was the rock tied to my ankle in this area.  Under continued pressure to "get my act together" I eliminated the best thing in my life to focus on the things I struggle with the most.

Now, that being said, it's been two years and actually, I am just finally finding a place where I can make progress on the house projects that I've never done, and I am really excited with the success so far.... but you are on the money correct that if I am going to have a fulfilling life, I will need to return to my passion. 

It's the balance I find so hard.  When I get caught up in the beauty of what really drives me, the other essentials like laundry, vacuuming, etc really fall right off the table  - and ultimately my "passion" is thwarted by the mess underneath me.  I've got to be just organized enough that I can do what I love - and I can't let myself get caught in a 6 month hyperfocus or my house might be condemned!  Balance is really tough, something I've been striving for all of my life.  Right now, I am tipped entirely one way.... now, how to tip the scale a little and not fall completely the other way..... ?  I can't be all about cleaning or my passion.  I've got to do both.

Does this make sense to anyone?

Dianna,

I know exactly how you feel!!!  I was diagnosed 3 yrs ago after my 2 daughters were diagnosed. In an effort to make sure we all got the therapy and medications we needed (that's a lot of dr. appts. for 3 people) plus meetings with teachers and school officials, all while holding down a full time job, my house and even my job began to suffer.  I was in seriious overwhelm... and ultimately lost my job.  I decided to use this as an opportunity to get some balance in my life.  Although, I'm better off now than I was then, I still feel like it could be so much better.  Here I am 2 years later and I still can't quite keep things together like I should. My oldest daughter is now 19, moved out, and doing quite well.  My younger daughter is 11 and we learned so much from our experiences with our older daughter, that although far from perfect, we have a much better grip on the situation with our 11 yr. old and how to handle it. I'm also still not working.  I think now the problem is, I have too much time on my hands.  I gave up everything I enjoyed before  to try to get a grip on the whole ADD/ADHD thing and relieve some of the stress. Now I've swung the other way-I have too much time.  It's funny how having too much time has just as negative of an effect on my ability to accomplish the simplest daily tasks as having absolutely no time!  I'm back to, again, trying to balance things but from a completely different perspective.  I'm beginning to think I'm never gonna get it right.

The quote that you heard someone give advice for living well with ADD definitely is something I continuously aspire to achieve...
“A place for everything and everything in its place. Everything should have a home, a place to belong.”
I like how you agree with it with the one little twist... that is.

"Every one should have a place where they feel at home, a place where they belong, a place where they feel comfortable in their own skin, a place to be themselves." I feel that I'm getting closer to that place, although I find myself striving too hard to 'fit in' and it has become "destructive when it takes over as the overriding guiding principle in one’s (my) life -especially when one has (I have) a brain that makes that kind of life very difficult as a long term strategy and driving force."
I find myself becoming very tired of pushing myself so hard to do well on my job at the expense of neglecting my own family. Having chosen to change careers and become an Exceptional Children's (EC) teacher (about 9 years ago) has caused me to turn myself inside out and hold myself "together so tightly in an effort to try to adhere to a routine or a non ADD way of being in the world..." I feel on the verge of losing the most important thing- ME ! I'm guilty of getting "so caught up in scheduling and filing and perfect organization that you (I) forget to enjoy your (my) brain and its gifts, to make room in your (my) life for your (my) brain to explore and have fun and discover the amazing things it can do."

Due to the overwhelming 'paper work monster', that requires someone with such superior organizational skills to handle, I try to compensate and don't leave work until 7 or 8 PM at night frequently, and look around at what little I have accomplished. Now with all of the changes in 'THE LAW', teaching in the special education field is one flled with fear of being sued or being responsible for money that has to be payed back if paper word is not done in absolute compliance with the law. The emphasis in all of this documentation takes so much time away from my ability to commit the time to what is most important which is planning & carrying out lessons geared to the individual students needs , although all of the changes in the law are supposed to 'enhance services to the students'. (Not when you have to spend all your time writing about it and not actually having the time to DO IT!) 

Currently being in the unique position I am in this year, learning late last month that I had not been hired for the job I was told at the end of this past school year that I was to fill, has been extremely frustrating not knowing what my job 'title' is, and what job duties go with it. At the same time, I have not had to bother as much with trying to master the 'paper work monster' as much as I have had to try to define who I am/what I am in this profession since the title I was led to believe I was hired, has yet to be approved or posted so I can 'interview' for it. 

Fortunately, I do have a principal who is supportive and appreciative of my abilities which has allowed me to be a big part of carving out a position focusing on reading at the elementary school level using a program that is geared to help students who struggle in this area ( I was supposed to be the person to teach the teachers how to do this county-wide, but was never given the 'intensive training' I was told I would get by my other 'supervisor' in my specialty area). This has allowed me to work individually with students with this reading program geared to help struggling readers, particularly those with Specific Learning Disabilities.

Not being the greatest reader in the world myself (unless it is something that is REALLY fascinating to me), I have seen a difference in these childrens' ability to read, and do see how my struggles in school (although they came a bit later/in high school) help me gain rapport with these students who see me as imperfect and human like themselves. I work so hard to build their confidence and self-esteem because that is so crucial to get them to take chances, letting them know that making mistakes is often the best way to learn. I mess up (on purpose sometimes) and let them correct me to empower them so they realize that they DO KNOW SO MUCH and are SUCH VERY IMPORTANT PEOPLE!

I guess in that respect of the job, I am trying to "Make sure that you (I) have a “place for everything”-everything important to you (me) - your (my) hopes, your (my) dreams, your (my) ideas, your (my) passions,

And make sure that you (I) live a life where you (I) belong and a life you (I) can call your (my) own.  This would be a life where I can have a positive impact on these students while maintaining a balance between work, home, and activities to enhance my own personal growth.

I'm glad you posted this as it really spoke to me. It amazes me that I have been able to be so positive in the midst of losing my new blue tooth, my bank card, the 'position' I was told I had (I'm still getting a paycheck!), my sister being in and out of a short stay psychiatric hospital trying to 'diagnose' me as needing to do the same, getting an outside organization involved in my employment situation again to advocate for me and being told to be quiet in a meeting that I arrive late to today after rear ending someone on the way as I was rushing & not paying attention (that's a shocker) to arrive at a meeting of all EC staff, arriving not 20 minutes late due to the accident but 50 minutes late as no one informed me the starting time had changed, and then being asked questions about the program in which I was supposed to have the 'position' as announced at meetings last year to everyone to oversee the newly adopted reading program for the whole department and being at a loss for words when told to say nothing. I creatively (pleaded the 5th, but couldn't leave it at that as a deperate person shares her situation, I simply reply that I'm sorry, but I have had no more training than you in the different programs from this company, and can't really speak of it as the position does not exist to my knowledge). Well, I didn't talk with the 'big boss' as advised, but really feel that I've been put in quite an awkward position.

If this county really doesn't want me to work here, I wish someone would just be straight forward with me and tell me instead of playing all of these ridiculous 'games'. It was a mistake to reveal that I have AD/HD as I am talked to by many in a demeaning/patronizing way. At least I own up to my deficits, and work on trying to improve them. I don't know if it is part of the culture in this area, or just a few rotten apples to spoil the whole bushel. I'm trying to associate myself with the 'good apples' who are hard working people with the best interest of the children in mind who can share feedback about what I'm doing right & wrong in a supportive way to help me improve & appreciate my contributions to help them & their/our students. At the same time, I still run into the patronizing ones who must have low self-esteem issues themselves in that they prefer to talk down to me in a demeaning way as if I am an idiot with no common sense who they don't know what to do with. What is difficult is determining who to trust, what to say or not to say, and to just find my 'niche' as I continue to strive to fit in.

When I was first diagnosed, my therapist put me in touch with an ADHD Coach who shared with me that teaching people like me would be the worst job match in the world. Perhaps I should have taken her advice, but I'm always up for a challenge and will be as tenacious at proving that I CAN be successful to prove her GENERAL statement as not always true. I'm not ready to give in and agree that she's right, I just hope that the support I have, and the help that I need to ask for to be successful will help me find that "Life where I belong, where I have balance, where I am comfortable being myself, and where I feel I can affect people's lives in a positive way." I want to make a difference, and I know I can do it if just given the chance!

 A Place for Everything what a concept.... That is my aptment. I have yet to find just that one or even tow place to call my own, I mean just to get organized is so tuff for me. I feel so scaddered most of the time. I was diagnosted 5 yr ago with ADHD and Dyxlica sorry have trouble spelling at times. I am just typing not corrercting my words has I type as I so desperateing try to do when writing or typing. Thank God for echeck. Oh got off the topic here, I do need this group and more things to come. I need that place andthe organizatin and look for ward to learing more here. This is very important to me to learn about how to pu my stuff in it place and NO where it is when I need it.  I so enjoy music myself and am trying to build a group of music on my emotion so I know what to listen to when I have different types of emotions. I have searched so much for help for myself and I look froward to better understadning and by learning though others. Thank you again.