Intro to Chapter 1
Coming Out of the (Messy) Closet

It wasn’t until I went to my first Adult ADD Conference where I spent three days under the same roof with hundreds of other adults with ADD, that I developed the concept of "being in the closet" as applied to individuals with invisible disorders. It wasn’t until I saw hundreds of people not in the closet, being themselves in front of others for the first time, that I realized how much time and energy is spent hiding, pretending, and carefully monitoring one’s behavior. I especially enjoyed seeing women tearing through oversized, overstuffed purses, hunting furiously for something they needed and couldn’t find, but without the usual embarrassment or self-consciousness. I stood in delighted wonder as I watched them throw things on the floor in search of that certain piece of paper or phone number they couldn't find, scribbling on their hands when they couldn’t find a piece of paper, talking fast, interrupting, laughing -- finally finding people who could keep up with them. Sure, there were angry feelings and frustration when things didn’t go smoothly, but the picture of adults with ADD being themselves, obviously bright and interested but often confused or disoriented, warm, exciting, even though struggling, brought home to me in a vivid way the extent to which these invisible disorders are hidden in everyday life. How much of the time these folks spend hiding, pretending, or just plain controlling their symptoms to present themselves well, to pass as "normal.